Friday, January 4, 2008

There's a Hall of Fame For Everyone!

While sitting at lunch today I stumbled upon the Hall of Fame ballot and found myself becoming very angry after reading some of the names of the player who are even being considered for the Hall of Fame. The funny thing is that some prankster will take part in some tomfoolery and give one of these undeserving players an actual vote. The New players to the ballot this year are just laughable. Some of these players may not be ready for the Baseball Hall of Fame, but maybe there is a special place each one of these guys belongs where they will be appreciated. Let's take a look!

New to the Ballot:

Brady Anderson- We all know about Brady's 1996 season when he belted 50 home runs and led the Orioles to a playoff loss to Jeffery Meher and Armando Benitez. But Brady's numbers really don't make him Hall of Fame Worthy. Brady, a class guy all the way who obviously, "Worked his butt off" just like superstars Jason Giambi and Sammy Sosa. Brady belong in a very special place where many great baseball players will soon end up. I induct you Brady Anderson into the "Mitchell didn't catch me...yet" Hall of Fame.

Chuck Finley - After 17 years of service and 200 wins, the bleach blonde lefty will only be remembered for one thing. No it's not his career record against the Yankees or the Fact he wasn't Mark Langston. Oh no, you Chuck Finley are now inducted into the " My wife kicked my ass" Hall of fame. Here I go again on my own Chuck, congrats as we move along.

Chuck Knoblauch- ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Robb Nen- After 10 years, 310 saves and being stuck in Florida and San Fran, Rob Nen finds himself stuck in the twilight zone of Hall of fame candidates. Relief pitchers should have their own hall of fame sponsored by who else? Rolaids!! If Nen doesn't make the cut there? Maybe there is a palindrome hall of fame ?

Tim Raines- 7 time all star, 2600 hits and 808 stolen bases? Sounds good to me! Oh wait his nickname was "Rock". hmmmmmmmmm Even the Voters can figure that one out. Tim Raines I induct you into the "You got caught Partner" Hall of fame.

Jose Rijo -Seriously?

Todd Stottlemyre - Come one?! Just because someone plays in the league for 14 years and happened to be on a world series winning team doesn't make them deserving of the baseball hall of fame. If so, I say Luis Sojo gets the nod. You Todd Stottlemeyer, If your name wasn't Stottlemeyer, you would be the Jeff mussleman of the Blue Jays. I induct you into the Shane Mcmahon Hall of fame.

Previously on:

Harold Baines - Too bad H Baines couldn't play a position and was stuck playing in those silly White sox jersey and shorts early in his career. He was Edgar Martinez before Edgar Martinez was cool. Harold Baines will always be the second best DH of all time. Even though he had 2866 hits and played for 22 years, Baines will forever be known and will never get in. So Harold Baines I am going to do you a solid! I induct you into the Bernie Williams Look alike Hall Of Fame.

Tommy John - This man is the reason many players are still playing, why many doctors are still rich and the reason Carl Pavano is still getting paid. who cares about his 288 wins, who cares about his 26 years in the game. Tommy John I induct you into the James Andrews Hall of Fame.

Don Mattingly-Even though my life revolves around this man, I am a realist. I can read the numbers, and I do not compare him to Kirby Puckett! Of course they had similar numbers and of course Puckett has 2 World Series rings, but let's look at the big picture. Let's live in the now! Who has a job ? Who has the criminal record? Who has two real eyes? Who gets to sit next to Joe Torre and wonder why Proctor is in again? Yes, Don Mattingly you are inducted into the "I didn't sell my soul to the devil to get in the hall of fame" Hall of fame.

Jack Morris- Balls to the walls, a mustache to die for, World Series stud, 18 years, and 254 wins! He might not have the stats to be a hall of famer, but Mr. Morris I induct you into the Mustache Hall of fame. If John Smotlz ever wants to get in, we will refer to game 7 of the 91 series as the reason you are in and he is not!

Jim Rice- You weren't as good as Dave Winfield Hall of fame.

Alan Trammell - Alan Trammel without Lou whitaker is kinda like Marty Jannetty without Shawn Michaels. Once out of the League Trammel tried to manage. What he was trying to manage was the question. He had a great career and was a part of some great teams and revolutionized the position. I induct you Alan Trammel into the shitty manager Hall of Fame. Trammel's spot is reserved next to Stump Merril and Jeff Torborg.

These are just my personal opinion about some of these players and I find it ridiculous that any of these players, other than Morris, are even considered. More to come from JP. Thanks for your time, I hope I did not offend.

1 comment:

Roger said...

Ha. Very funny. Amazingly, I agree with most of your assessments. :)