Monday, January 14, 2008

Dear Mr. Owens,

Dear Mr. Owens,

It's only a game, it's only the playoffs! Who cares that you haven't won a playoff game with the Cowboys. Who cares that you have never won a super bowl? Who cares that your career is mimicking Barry Bonds, sans the hall of fame stats. Who cares that your QB was vacationing while he should have been reading his playbook. Things have been much worse for you and it's okay you can enjoy your popcorn next week while you watch the Championship games.

Don't cry Mr. Owens, please don't cry. I know you keep telling us, "It's not fair" But, was it fair when you labelled Jeff Garcia as a homosexual? Was it fair when you poisoned the entire Eagles franchise. Who knew anything from Philly could become more evil? I know winning your division is a great accomplishment and something to be proud of, but losing in the playoffs after a great season is kind of like kissing your sister... Oh wait, you did that already, or did you?

I know it must be tough for you and I hope you can survive this off season without any prescriptions. It must be tough to lose, maybe Karma is skipping a life and catching up with you in this life. Usually karma waits till the next life, but I think your attitude, your mouth, and your actions have caught up with you.

Do you really think we buy this crying thing? All of a sudden you support a Quarterback? Come on, please! The next month will be so much better without you around Mr. Owens. So here is my advice, get yourself some popcorn and get cozy in that million dollar recliner you probably have. If you can't find any popcorn, give the Giants a call and I am sure they call help you out.

Pay careful attention to this guy who plays in New England. His name is Tom Brady, he is better than you, he gets more attention than you because he does his job and doesn't beg for attention. Learn a lesson from Randy Moss. He put his ego aside and wanted to be apart of a winning team. If you had the stats he had this weekend, 1 catch for 14 yards, you would have flipped out, called out your quarterback and caused a scene. Spare me the drama Terrell, seriously I'm over it.

Dr. P

P.S. - Call me if you have any questions about your prescription.

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