Stop me if you've heard this one before, but some simply amazing details are starting to pour in about Sir Charles Barkley's DUI arrest early Wednesday. There were about five different parts to this story that are bizarre at times and hilarious at others.
1) Barkley told cops he ran the stop sign because he was going to get oral sex from a woman who had previously serviced him the week before as well. That wasn't even Sir Charles' best part of the excuse, he then followed up with including it was the best oral sex he had ever had.
This comment alone will cause dozens of college students to ditch Cancun for Scottsdale, Arizona
2) Barkley told a civilian employee at the police station, "I'll tattoo your name on my ass" if he could help him get out of the DUI charges. Charles should know better than to make an offer like that to a civilian employee. That's something you offer to a Sargent or the ranking officer at the time of incarceration.
3) This pictureGood lord. Can someone get Charles a cold glass of water and hanky to wipe his face off?!?! He's sweating more than Patrick Ewing in a double overtime game.
4) He was out with Jaleel White. Don't know who that is? T.V.'S STEVEN URKEL!! Barkley's crew certainly does not run as deep as is used to I guess. I wonder what other Afro-American sitcom stars Barkley roles with? Perhaps Rerun from "What's Happening?," Theo from "The Cosby Show," or the Guy on the Fire Escape from "Martin" have all been apart of Sir Barkley's pose at some point.
5) Police found a gun in his car and didn't press charges. It isn't clear if the gun was licensed or not, because finding a gun isn't even worth investigating in Arizona. Nevermind the gun was found in the car of a man who was intoxicated, wouldn't one want to look into this further? If this was New York he would have spent the night in Riker's, with the looming penalty of a 3.5year prison sentence haunting him.
The fact that former N.Y. Giant Micheal Strahan was also at the bar with Barkley that night was only a coincodence. However, I do think it important for people to now recognize that we are seeing a trend emerging with N.Y. Giants and club frequenting that generally end with someone wearing handcuffs. Now I am not saying to be like Pac Man Jones scared if you see a N.Y Football Giant at a bar, just be weary and take note and watch your back.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Charles Barkley, Micheal Strahan and Steve Urkel Walk Into a Bar...
Friday, April 18, 2008
FSE NBA Playoff Predictions
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Jermaine O'Neal Returns, Chris Kaman Finished
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Fantasy Basketball Playoff Adds & Hired Guns - Semifinal Week
Friday, March 28, 2008
Fantasy Basketball Playoff Adds & Hired Guns – Quarterfinal Weekend
In the spirit of FSE’s comprehensive Fantasy Basketball Playoff Cram Session piece, we introduce the Playoff Adds & Hired Guns series. Every Sunday and Friday the rest of the way, we will highlight the best long-term add options to use during your playoff run as well as some hired guns that can get you key crunch time stats.
Adds
JR Smith – Weekend Game: Saturday, Golden State
Chris Quinn – Weekend Game: Sunday, At Boston
Martell Webster – Weekend Game: Saturday, Charlotte
Jerry Stackhouse - Weekend Game: Sunday, At Golden State
Thad Young - Weekend Game: Sunday, At Cleveland
Thabo Sefolosha – Weekend Game: Saturday, Milwaukee
Daniel Gibson – Weekend Games: Saturday, At Detroit & Sunday, Philadelphia
Jarrett Jack – Weekend Game: Saturday, Charlotte
Louis Williams – Weekend Game: Sunday, At Cleveland
Hired Guns
Jannero Pargo – Weekend Game: Sunday, At Toronto
Sasha Vujacic – Weekend Game: Sunday, Washington
Matt Carroll – Weekend Game: Saturday, At Portland
Erick Dampier – Weekend Game: Sunday, At Golden State
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Brandon Roy Injures Groin - Martell Webster Emerging As A Hot Fantasy Option
Brandon Roy injured his groin last night attempting to block Caron Butler's shot at the end of the first quarter. He returned to the game in the second quarter but was limping noticeably and left for good after two minutes. Blazers' head coach Nate McMillan had this to say after the game regarding Roy's injury - "That [injury] can sit you down for a month."
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Elton Brand Scheduled To Return For Championship Week
Like Willis Reed beating the odds and hobbling onto the Madison Square Garden court before game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals, Elton Brand will reward his owners by playing in the final 5-6 games of the season. His return is tentatively scheduled for either Sunday April 6th versus Houston or Tuesday April 8th against Denver. Both are Clippers' home games and an April 6th return will give you one Brand start during the semifinal round, an added bonus.
We all know the great things Brand can do for a fantasy basketball team. He is a double-double threat on a nightly basis and one of the finest scoring big men in the game today. Upon his return following a long layoff, he will most certainly be rusty and might even play inconsistent minutes as he is not in prime game shape. Regardless, even at 75%, he will be a solid option in all leagues.
I would not advise sacrificing a roster spot to add Brand right now in smaller leagues. Remember people, to use him in 2 weeks, you still need to be in the playoffs! It's crunch time, use your moves wisely...
Monday, March 24, 2008
Final Fantasy Basketball Playoff Prep From Around The Web
The 11th hour is upon us people! FSE has done everything it in its power to get you ready for the fantasy basketball playoffs which kick off in roughly 4 hours with the first set of game ready to tip around 7 eastern.
- Hoops Fantasy and Give Me The Rock both offer updates on the injury to Dirk Nowitzki and the resulting fantasy impact.
- Also from Hoops Fantasy, check out this excellent summary of the five teams most egregiously tanking the season and what it means for your fantasy basketball squad.
- The NBA Rotoman weighs in on Stephane Lasme, the newest beneficiary of the great Miami Tank Job.
- Lester's Legends provides a rundown of players who are hot entering the fantasy playoffs.
- Farid of Fantasy Basketball Pros offers playoff-bound owners a podcast featuring 4 tips for success in the Yahoo H2H Playoffs.
Continue to check Fantasy Sports Experience throughout the playoffs for fantasy basketball news and analysis.
Best of luck in the playoffs!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Fantasy Basketball Playoffs Cram Session
Friday, March 21, 2008
Andrew Bynum May Return After All - Don't Get Too Excited
In an interesting turn of events, Andrew Bynum, who was deemed out until the playoffs as early as Monday, now has a chance to be back two weeks from Sunday and available for the Lakers final 6 games.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Fantasy Basketball Desperation Station - Super Sized Playoff Tune Up
With the fantasy basketball regular season in its final week for most owners and the playoffs just around the corner, now is the perfect time to make a stop at Desperation Station because the pickings are slim. Given that we are entering a critical juncture in the fantasy season, FSE has rolled out a special double strength edition of DS highlighting a record nine players!
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Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Don't Expect Much From Gilbert Arenas This Season
With Agent Zero's original target date for return of March 2 come and gone, the Wizards guard has increased the intensity of his workouts in an effort to return at some point during Washington's final 16 games. An MRI showed that the injured knee has healed well and doctors cleared Arenas to return to strenuous practice.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Watch FSE On NBARotoman's Fantasy Chat
Yesterday, I was a guest on NBARotoman's Fantasy Chat over at NBA Roto, an excellent fantasy basketball website. Topics discussed on the show include the late season waiver wire scramble in fantasy basketball and top sleepers going forward. Check out the video below:
I want to thank NBA Roto for having me on the show and if you are a fantasy basketball fanatic I strongly reccomend you check out this site each day.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Pau Gasol Out Next 3 Games, Likely Longer - Ronny Turiaf To Start, It's Kobe Time
Pau Gasol has been ruled out for the remainder of the Lakers' road trip with a sprained left ankle suffered early in Friday night's loss to the New Orleans Hornets. X-rays revealed a moderate sprain which will sideline Gasol for today's game at Houston as well as next week's game at Dallas and Utah. Gasol has averaged 19 points and 8 rebounds a game with the Lakers and the team is 15-4 since his arrival.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Fantasy Basketball Desperation Station - 3/13/08
I hope this stop at Desperation Station finds you well. In this edition, we take a look at a few rookies and a that could provide you with some assistance at this critical juncture of the fantasy season.
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Monday, March 10, 2008
Eddy Curry Likely Out For The Season - More Minutes For Wilson Chandler & Randolph Morris
An MRI has revealed that Eddy Curry has a vertical cartilage tear in his right knee. Surgery is required to repair the damage and by all accounts Curry will more than likely opt for the season-ending procedure sometime later this week.
In Wednesday's game against the Cavs, Morris had 7 points and 7 rebounds in only 12 minutes showing some potential as a late season fantasy contributor. Unfortunately, Isiah has only played him a total of 9 minutes over the past two games. Way to build up the young man's confidence.
Despite Saturday's benching of Morris, Isiah appears committed to playing both youngsters a good amount over the team's final 19 games. When asked about playing Morris and Chandler after the game, Isiah was quoted in the New York Post as saying "It's time. It really is that simple. It's time."
I am certainly not ready to reccomend either as a fantasy option yet. However, it is worth mentioning that these two youngsters are in a position to see ample playing time late in the season and could be nice stopgap options come the fantasy basketball playoffs.
Dwayne Wade Done For The Season - Miami Ups The Tanking Ante
On Friday in part 1 of our Tanking Casualties and Solutions series, we highlighted the Miami Heat and placed Dwayne Wade as the #1 shutdown candidate on the Heat roster. In the post we said this of D-Wade:
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Tanking Casualties and Solutions - Part 2: Memphis Grizzlies & Seattle Supersonics
In part 1 of our Tanking Casualties and Solutions series, we took a look at the Miami Heat and Minnesota Timberwolves - the teams with the best odds of landing the #1 pick in June's draft. The second part of this 4 part series focuses on the Memphis Grizzlies and Seattle Supersonics who currently hold the third and fourth best odds of winning the draft lottery.
- Tanking status/potential - How bad do these teams want Michael Beasley?
- The Departed - Who can we cross off the list.
- Shut Down Candidates - Remember, this is for the good of the franchise... now put on your suit and act hurt.
- Tanking Beneficiaries - Bench players that look to gain significant playing time down the stretch - in the spirit of Mardy Collins and Tarence Kinsey.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Tanking Casualties & Solutions - Part 1: Miami Heat & Minnesota Timberwolves
March is upon us and in the NBA that means teams are flipping into tank mode in order to secure better odds in the draft lottery. Over the next few weeks you can expect bad teams to make key players disappear from the starting lineup while giving bench warmers bigger minutes in the pursuit of landing the #1 pick.
- Tanking status/potential - How bad do these teams want Michael Beasley?
- The Departed - Who can we cross off the list.
- Shut Down Candidates - Remember, this is for the good of the franchise... now put on your suit and act hurt.
- Tanking Beneficiaries - Bench players that look to gain significant playing time down the stretch - in the spirit of Mardy Collins and Tarence Kinsey.
In part 1, we take a look at the Miami Heat and Minnesota Timberwolves - the two teams who currently hold the worst records in basketball and have the best odds of landing the #1 pick in June.
#1 - Miami Heat - Current Lottery Odds: 25%
Tanking Status: Full Steam Ahead
Whenever your coach decides to take a few games off to go scout NCAA games, you know your season is lost. Impressively, Miami currently holds the NBA's worst record by one game over the Minnesota Timberwolves despite running out a decent starting lineup featuring two fantasy studs in Dwayne Wade and Shawn Marion.
The Departed
Dorell Wright - Just as he was developing into a nice all-around fantasy option, knee surgery ended his season.
Shut Down Candidates (Chance of being shutdown in parentheses)
Dwayne Wade (90%) - Wade is the franchise and is not a 100% healthy yet he has only missed 2 games since returning November 14th. He has enjoyed another solid season averaging around 24 points and 7 assists a night and has repeatedly said he will not shut down his season early. I give it two weeks before Riley has him in street clothes and bling on the bench.
Udonis Haslem (75%) - Haslem has battled nagging injuries all season and recently has been dealing with family issues. He has been a good fantasy contributor, putting up nearly a double-double averaging 12 points and 9 boards this year. He'll be one of those guys that gets phased out of the lineup quietly in the last two weeks.
Shawn Marion (30%) - Marion has struggled since arriving in Miami and he isn't the type of player that can win games on his own. Keep in mind thatMarion is able to opt out this summer, something Riley is hoping for as it will open up 17 million in cap space. Thus, showcasing Marion now could help drive up his value and allow Riley to complete the once impossible dream of clearing Shaq's monster contract off the books.
Tanking Beneficiaries
Ricky Davis - The Michael Jordan of the tanking season, no one can help a team land the #1 pick better than this guy. Cleveland Cavaliers fans are forever indebted to Davis for bringing home Lebron James with his remarkably selfish play and destructive ego during the 2002-03 campaign. Expect Davis to see 35+ minutes down the stretch and be a good source of scoring.
Marcus Banks - With Dwade looking on from the sidelines, Banks should see increasing minutes at point guard. He's a fast guard who should contribute in points, assists and maybe even threes.
Earl Barron - With Shaq gone and Haslem primed for shut down, that should leave some burn for Barron in future losing efforts. Barron has quietly been getting increasing playing time of late and could be a stopgap center option late in the season.
Chris Quinn - Is a good outside shooter that could help in three pointers, points and assists to a lesser extent.
#2 - Minnesota Timberwolves - Current Lottery Odds: 19.9%
Tanking Status: Been Tanking Since The KG Trade
During Kevin McHale's reign of terror in Minnesota the T'Wolves regressed to the point where trading Kevin Garnett became the feel good story of the summer. In return for Garnett, the T'Wolves got a young franchise-type center and the guarantee they would be one of the five worst teams in the NBA for the next 2-3 years. Something tells me Minnesota is going to land the top odds in the draft lottery over Miami even if it means having McHale suit up and let his arm pit hair flow freely once again.
The Departed
None
Shutdown Candidates
Al Jefferson (95%) - The only elite fantasy player or real-life player on the Minnesota roster, Jefferson has had a monster year averaging over 21 points, 11 rebounds and 1 block a night. Wednesday night, Jefferson injured his leg and missed the 4th quarter of the T'Wolves 39 point loss at Utah. This might be just the excuse the team needs to take him out of play, stay tuned.
Randy Foye (50%) - Foye represents the only other semblance of fantasy-relevant talent and I am not quite sure what the team will do with him. On the one hand, Foye is coming off injury that forced him to miss the first three months of the season. Thus, the team might want him risking further injury with nothing to play for. On the other hand, the last month of the season might be a good time to get Foye some experience at point guard. This is a toss up in my mind, but I'm leaning towards a late shutdown.
Tanking Beneficiaries
Sebastian Telfair - The pride of Coney Island has been putting up some pretty good numbers before the return of Randy Foye and has continued to be a productive assist man. If Foye is shutdown, Telfair will take on all point guard responsibilities and could be a strong backcourt option down the stretch.
Craig Smith - If Smith received 30+ minutes a night, he could be a Udonis Haslem clone and average 10-12 points and around 8 boards. Smith has played well in 3 March games thus far and look for him to have a bigger role going forward.
Kirk Snyder - Why McHale felt it necessary to deal young Gerald Green, one of the key pieces of the KG trade, to Houston for Kirk Snyder is beyond me. Regardless, Snyder has seen decent minutes in Minnesota so far, starting the last two games at SF averaging around 11 points and 5 rebounds. Snyder is also a good defensive player who can help in steals.
Chris Richard - After Al Jefferson is out of the lineup Richard might be the center of choice for the tanking T'Wolves. After a stint in the NBDL, Richard has returned to the pros and seen some increasing burn of late. Richard is a good rebounder who can score a little bit around the rim. He's a stopgap option at best.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Elton Brand May Not Return - Chris Kaman Owners Breathe Sign Of Relief
Elton Brand participated in Clippers' practice yesterday and various reports have the franchise power forward coming back in mid-March. However Fanhouse is reporting that Mike Dunleavy shot down that speculation a bit implying that Brand is closer than a month away from returning to the Clips lineup then 2 weeks as originally thought. For those of you scoring at home, a month from today would leave the Clippers with about 6 games remaining on the schedule which would all but rule out Brand's return.



